Dramamine and Condoms

A parrot walks into a bar carrying an Athame...
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Dramamine and Condoms

Post by Librarian » Tue Mar 22, 2005 7:44 pm

A guy went to his travel agent and tried to book a two-week cruise for himself and his lady friend. The travel agent said that all the ships were booked up and reservations were very tight at that moment, but that he would see what he could do.

A couple of days later, the travel agent phoned and said he could get them onto a three-day cruise. The guy was disappointed that it was such a short cruise, but booked it . . . and went to the drugstore to buy Dramamines and three condoms.

The next day, the agent called back and reported that he now could book a five-day cruise. The guy said, "Great, I'll take it!"! and returned to the same pharmacy to buy two more Dramamines and two more condoms.

The following day, the travel agent called yet again, and said he was delighted that he could offer them bookings on an eight-day cruise. The guy was elated and, and went back to the drugstore. He asked for three more Dramamine and three more condoms.

The pharmacist looked sympathetically at him and said, "Look, I'm not trying to pry. . but, if it makes you sick . . why do you keep doing it?"

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Post by Vetle » Tue Mar 22, 2005 8:17 pm

Hahahaha. Good one. :lol:

I have a similar one:


A guy once went into a pharmacy and went to the pharmacist to get some condoms. "Give me the good stuff. I'm feeling lucky tonight. This one really hot chick I've been going out with...we've only fooled around so far but we've already planned on going all the way tonight."

The pharmacist smiled and gave him the condoms.

That night, we went to pick his girlfriend up. She said, "Hey, I just noticed you haven't met my parents. Why don't you come in and have dinner. Then after that we can tell them we're going to a movie or something and we'll go off to be alone."

So they're sitting at the dinner table. The guy asks if he can say grace. The most says "most certainly" and listens intently, He begins giving a speach that sounds like it was inspired by god himself. "And let us remember him that said, ' to err is human, to forgive is divine' and glorify the forgiving nature of Jesus. Amen." The mother smiles and says, "that was a wonderful grace." The girl whispers to him, "You never told me you were so religious." He whispers back, "You never told me your dad was a pharmacist."
"I just hope angels in the forest
Saw me praying in my own soul
Death is unfair - That's real pain
Remoun you...Am I almost dead?
I miss my hope; My will to live
My last farewell forever, all alone"

-Anita Auglend

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Post by davisherm » Tue Mar 22, 2005 10:25 pm

heh

Nice ones. If I may grace you with a cadance I learned back in Basic Training all those years ago...


In her hair, she wore a yellow ribbon.
She wore it in the springtime, in the merry month of May.
And if you asked her why in the heck she wore it,
She wore it for the soldier who was far far away.

FAR AWAY
FAR AWAY
SHE WORE IT FOR THE SOLDIER WHO WAS FAR FAR AWAY

Around the bend, she pushed the baby carriage.
She pushed it in the springtime, in the merry month of May.
And if you asked her why in the heck she pushed it,
She pushed it for the soldier who was far far away.

FAR AWAY
FAR AWAY
SHE PUSHED IT FOR THE SOLDIER WHO WAS FAR FAR AWAY

Behind the door, her Daddy kept a shotgun.
He kept it in the springtime in the merry month of May.
And if you asked him why in the heck he kept it,
He kept it for that soldier who was far far away.

FAR AWAY
FAR AWAY
HE KEPT IT FOR THE SOLDIER WHO WAS FAR FAR AWAY!
"I just want to play on my Panpipes..." Cake

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Post by Vetle » Wed Mar 23, 2005 8:05 am

OK so a farmer is going to let his three daughters start dating because they're 16. However, he insists on meeting the boys at the door with a shotgun.

The first boy comes and says, "Hey, my name is Jerry, I'm here for Betty, we're going to east some spaghetti, is she ready?" The father looks quizzically at him but lets his daughter out.

The next boy comes and says, "Hey, my name is Hewie, I'm here for Suzy, we're going to see a movie." The father looks quizzically at him but lets his daughter out.

The next boy comes and says, "Hey, my name is Chuck," so the farmer shoots him.
"I just hope angels in the forest
Saw me praying in my own soul
Death is unfair - That's real pain
Remoun you...Am I almost dead?
I miss my hope; My will to live
My last farewell forever, all alone"

-Anita Auglend

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Post by Kystar » Wed Mar 23, 2005 9:17 am

not to sound stupid, but I don't get it.
You say "Witch" like it's a bad thing!

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Post by Vetle » Wed Mar 23, 2005 9:41 am

Think of all the words that rhyme with Chuck. Ok, I guess it was a bit crude. Hopefully I didn't go too far with that one.
"I just hope angels in the forest
Saw me praying in my own soul
Death is unfair - That's real pain
Remoun you...Am I almost dead?
I miss my hope; My will to live
My last farewell forever, all alone"

-Anita Auglend

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Post by Kystar » Wed Mar 23, 2005 10:16 am

ah, I was a bit slow earlier to not see the rhyming pattern.
You say "Witch" like it's a bad thing!

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Post by Vetle » Wed Mar 23, 2005 10:25 am

It works better when it's spoken. I used italics for the rhyming words. Maybe I should have written it in stanza format?
"I just hope angels in the forest
Saw me praying in my own soul
Death is unfair - That's real pain
Remoun you...Am I almost dead?
I miss my hope; My will to live
My last farewell forever, all alone"

-Anita Auglend

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Post by Kystar » Wed Mar 23, 2005 11:23 am

naw, it's cool. I'm just falling asleep over here...allegeries are jumping.
You say "Witch" like it's a bad thing!

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Post by lunaria » Wed Mar 23, 2005 4:29 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Those jokes are all funny! Thank you all for making me laugh :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Post by Raven » Thu Mar 24, 2005 2:12 pm

Lmao Nice, thanks all
Image

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Post by FyreGarnet » Mon Mar 28, 2005 12:01 pm

yes, I agree. Somehow I managed to miss these earlier, but they made me laugh. Yesterday was a bad day, so it's nice to laugh.

FyreGarnet
The difference between cats and dogs is that dogs want to smell everyone's rear and cats want every one to smell THEIR rear - unknown

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Post by Wbdsgnr1 » Mon Mar 28, 2005 6:41 pm

I love those jokes.

Maybe im tired and dumb tonight but I cant think of anything that rhymes with Chuck.... oh well!!


blessed be
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Post by Vetle » Mon Mar 28, 2005 6:45 pm

Wbdsgnr1 wrote:Maybe im tired and dumb tonight but I cant think of anything that rhymes with Chuck.... oh well!!
Here's a hint. When you're single, it has to do with luck.
"I just hope angels in the forest
Saw me praying in my own soul
Death is unfair - That's real pain
Remoun you...Am I almost dead?
I miss my hope; My will to live
My last farewell forever, all alone"

-Anita Auglend

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Post by davisherm » Mon Mar 28, 2005 7:08 pm

Vetle wrote:
Wbdsgnr1 wrote:Maybe im tired and dumb tonight but I cant think of anything that rhymes with Chuck.... oh well!!
Here's a hint. When you're single, it has to do with luck.
I don't think you need to hint any more, dude. You've kinda got your toes right up against a line, right now. Please don't step over it.
"I just want to play on my Panpipes..." Cake

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