The Wiccan-Shaman-Druid Song

(To the tune of : "I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy"

Eran

I'm a Wiccan, shaman, druid,
I am New Age through and through,
Decked in crystals from my head to toe,
With feathers and pyramids too.
My spirit guide is from Atlantis,
He's a Zen Aztec guru.
Come and spend the weekend with us;
For twelve hundred dollars
You'll be a Wiccan shaman too.

I'm an Elvis-Loki-Viking
I channel Ashley Montague.
In a former life I was a gypsy clerk,
Bullfighter and troubadour too.
I know five Illuminati;
They're a strange and motley crew.
There's a priest from ancient China.
He lives in my basement.
He is an Elvis-Viking too.

I've got a pipe ceremony
Adapted from the OTO.
I use a sweat lodge for my Beltane rites
(the maypole is just there for show).
I have got a glass athame
With batteries to make it glow.
It's just great for calling quarters
In my new tradition:
The Lynn Andrews-Buckland-Starhawk Grove.

My coven is part Rosicrucian
Mixed with some Theosophy.
Add in some stuff from the Golden Dawn
'cause Crowley's just alright by me.
I've got 12 initiations,
I've seen all there is to see.
Watch out for those strange Co-Mason Santeria druids;
They'll cement your chickens to a tree.

I'm a Dianic Knight Templar.
I taught Llewellyn all they know.
A Sufi member of the Whitley cult,
waiting for my UFO.
I've had the Kirlian concession
in malls since 1962.
I'm Gardnerian and you're not
and so I have to hum this:
Hm Hm Hm Hm Hm 42

I'm a daughter of Yemaya.
I have slept with Otter Zell.
I have a dildo here from Gavin Frost,
and now I believe there's a Hell.
I'm into the Church of All Worlds
EST and Dianetics too.
The Fairy Queen of Circle Land
was there at my Bar Mitzvah;
She charged me less than she'll charge you.
[Above verses from Windsinger]

I'm a well-known Pagan scholar.
I've broken every oath I took.
I've joined three new groups in the last two years;
Their secrets are in my new book.
I'm a master of denial
and so, my conscience is quite clear.
The Lady has been bugging me
to spread the information.
So why did the earthquake hit so near?

I'm a 4th-degree Gardnerian,
Although it's made me rather odd.
My neighbor channels critters from beyond
And they're going to make me a God.
I'm at war with my High Priestess;
I'm telling everyone I know.
Next week I'm off to save the world
Somewhere west of Kansas
But when I do, no one will know.
{last 2- Arielle]

[Jubal's reply to the previous verse:]
I'm a Protean High Priestess.
I initiate the dead.
I have two husbands but it's lonely here,
That's why we have Circle in bed.
I've abandoned several covens.
My word means what I want it to.
You've been to one ritual?
Here's your initiation.
As our High Priest, I think you'll do.

I'm a Celtic purist strega.
I won't go to PSG.
I do my own thing and I do it well
Where only the chosen can see.
I've got a coven of the finest
And they're the best that they can be.
Eagle Cave is for the Goddess
And her chosen Priestess.
That's not Selena, 'cause it's me. {Antiga-Martin-Ray, Avalon '95]

I'm the Fairy Queen of Circle,
I'm the ruler of the world.
I dance divinely round and round the pit
Where those who oppose me are hurled.
Circle changes with the seasons;
Each change costs you a small fee.
Deosil then dance about the weather vane of Circle
Nothing we do for you is free.
[or:] If you've been to Avalon,
Don't get caught in Wisconsin.
Selena will hang you from a tree. [RW, Avalon '95]

We're a famous British trio,
But we live in Ireland now.
We made more money than the Clerics did,
And Revenue raised quite a row.
We're heirs to Gardner and to Sanders
Pickingill and Crowley too.
Gardner made the whole thing up
There was no old religion
The Goddess is born in us anew.
[RW & Antiga, Avalon '95]

NOTE: This was the song sung by members of the Morning Star Coven during the Talent Show at DragonFest '95. I don't think they would mind you using it, just be sure to give credit, where credit is due!