Communication Skills "Games"
Kyri Comyn, Hernesgaard
The following is a series of "games" which have been found quite useful in helping "a bunch of interested people" learn to communicate! with each other, taking them one further step towards forming the "group mind" necessary to work together as a coven in circle.
There are a few brief rules which must be observed in order to make these games more productive for the participants. These are:
- NOTHING which is said during the games may be discussed outside the games without the consent of ALL parties involved in the subject. This is enforced by personal honour only, but must be stressed at the onset of the series.
- Everyone's attention should be on the two people involved in the conversation. No off-side comments or conversation will be tolerated.
- Each step of the series MUST be accomplished in the exact sequence necessary. Example:
Person 1 - "Tell me something you like about me."
Person 2 - "I like the clothes you choose."
Person 1 - "Thank you."
It is the Monitor's main task to see that each step is performed before going on to the next. The first step is Person 1's opening statement or question. Step two is Person 2's response. Step three, Person 1's acknowledgment.
In the sequences with Person 1 asking (or stating) two communications, the steps are as follows: Person 1 opens with "Is there" or "There is", Person 2 respond with "yes" or "no". If "no", then Person 1 acknowledges, and moves to the next person. If "yes", then Person 1 opens, Person 2 responds with "yes", Person 2 continues with statement or question asked for, then Person 1 acknowledges (or answers, whereupon Person 2 acknowledges).
Without going into gory detail, the steps are similar in the games where Person 1 opens with "There is something I would like to tell/ask you." Person 2 responding with "Would you like to ask me now?", etc.
- The word WHY, either as question or as statement is NOT ALLOWED! There are too many defense mechanisms built-in to this word for productive answers to be given or understood.
- For any answer requested in the first five games, the answer-er has three options...They may tell the truth, they may lie, or they may refuse to answer. All must be accepted. In HOT SEAT only, are there only two options...In answering the questions you may lie or you may tell the truth, but you may not refuse to answer.
- Last, and most important...JUSTIFICATION OF REASONING OR ACTIONS IS DISALLOWED! This is the most judgmental ruling on the part of the Monitor. It is up to the Monitor alone to determine whether and answer is a statement of fact, or a defensive maneuver. This is the hardest part, so be alert.
Finally, when in the course of the circular nature of things the Monitor comes due for a turn, Monitor-ship should be turned over to any other member of the group, and may change from turn to turn, depending on who is participating and who is Monitor. This can be accomplished with a simple "Stop", and something akin to the following:
"Joe Schwartz, I designate you Monitor for the duration of my turn."
With Joe S. returning Monitor-ship in a like manner when the turn is ended.
The Games are i